To be ordinary means to exist yet insignificant, a shadow in the background but stood out to occupy some space nontheless. That is my perception of being ordinary.
An ordinary person suffers as much or maybe even more than the handicapped. They are so ordinary that they doesnt make a statement when they stand up in the crowd. They dont have names that follow them because no one bothered.
everyone is trying hard not to be ordinary, everyone is saying everyone's special as an individual. everyone wants to be different, some by proving so, they choose to live a different lifestyle or eat something different everyday or occasionally. tired but nonetheless contented that they have done something different, but not living in the ordinary and not trying to make something more out of the ordinary. it just goes down to being different.
but hardly anyone admits and believes they are just plain old jane full-heartedly, and having done so, tries hard everyday to make a difference to others but not ultimately for themselves.
i am pretty ordinary, i tried to stay out of trouble and live the way i want to live but trouble seem to visit me too often than i ever ask for(which i never asked for), wishing and praying that i wont stand out in the crowd so much that it invites trouble, only that i didnt have to worry so much about standing out because nothing in my looks department grants that, but ironically, secretly hoping to shine like a star like many of my fellowmates, seniors and teachers have told me to. Just like the character, Chloe in the book, "Love Remains" by Glen Duncan, she lived her life so plainly but hoping someone would finally see her as a person, as she herself as a living person. i found soulmates who saw me but i have to confess none had actually been able to see me fully, they just saw me in partial meanings. That's why i always try to really see someone and not just them to compensate the blindness of others and myself.
i can hear myself say sometimes,
"im not pretty, too skinny, no figure, no character, one word: inconspicuous",
"no man of proper mind will ever love me- implicating i'll get the insane ones",
"no one will see me coz they cant see beyond me, they will only see through me".
If ever i'd commited a crime, the witness trying to describe me will say, "i dont know. short. pimply. average-looking. you know?"
In the book, Chloe have thought of the exact situation, only she was the one who thought about that idea first.
what i had thought about all these years of my life was almost similar but to a different extend.
i often think about me getting involved in a road accident or after my death, how will the people remember me as? the girl who looked horrible? the girl who got blood all over lying on the road causing a jam at the back of the traffic with people driving past slowing a little to catch a glimpse of the victim and drive away again thinking that they were lucky it wasnt them, then after i have passed on for about 3 days, when questioned about what i looked like when someone on the street converses with his neighbour about the girl who died from the accident, he'd probably say, "haiya, how i remember? like normal loh, got eyes, nose and mouth, not pretty also."
this is also a piece of ordinary piece of words, will anyone remember the words written here after a minute? what's the price of being ordinary? 
